I have always been attracted to the wise, old mentor archetype in fiction. I have wanted to be that archetype ever since I can remember. As I grow older, I find myself getting a little wiser but it never feels enough. In fact I feel like a mess all the time. My mental health issues keep showing up when I least expect them to and I make the same mistakes over and over again....

You will be alone, at least in the beginning. The beginning will last for a long time. Doing too much at once will burn you out. You will have to do everything in the beginning (refer to points 1 & 2). Your vision will set you free. Your vision will be a burden. You will love your project. You will hate your project. You will wish you never began. You do this if you are in for the process....

You’re in a rectangular room with a raised platform upfront. The door is to the left of the platform. There are those single chairs with flaps for writing dotted across the classroom. It is lit in bright white light—good for visibility but it feels like you are in a hospital. The class is almost full, some students pay attention, most are secretly scrolling Instagram under the tables. You decided to pay attention today so you sat on the first table....

Content Warning: Discussions of internalised fatphobia and consequent self-hating thoughts. Thoughts The folks over at Maintenance Phase Pod were absolutely right – dieting may lead to weight-loss, but more often than not it leads to rapid weight gain later. I experienced it. According to the BMI scale, I am 1 point away from Obese. The word hangs heavy in my chest. My clothes remind me that I am fat, and somehow, by extension that I am a failure....

There is a lot of noise in my brain right now. Honestly, my brain is soup at this point. So I will write this in the form of a numbered list: I am doing too many things at once. Again. I do not want to admit it but I am falling into the old habit of doing so much that I effectively just do nothing. My brain keeps jumping from interest to interest....

a house never complete. the one that lives in it, perennially at work—building it, decorating it, on occasion, destroying it. another house, on the same plot. a house that once was, or rather, the houses that once were. un-empty, or rather, as full as houses that once were can be. another house, on the same plot, a house the one dreams of. bursting with ambition, or despair, mutating with every passing second....

“Hey, I don’t usually do this, ask strangers, I mean, but can I borrow a cigarette?” “For a brief second I thought you were going to ask me out. Embarrassed flush I’m sorry I don’t smoke.” Awkward silence. A chance and a seat taken “You know what? This is good. I really shouldn’t be smoking” “No one should” A loud cheer in the background, some team is winning “No… I mean, I work on air pollution, and a part of me feels like I am just as bad as those corporates”...

edit: After further tests, it was determined that I had ligament injury, and not a fracture. K and I walked towards the gate of Trendset Mall. I checked my phone, and realising my mistake in booking an Uber, I informed him that the Uber auto had arrived at the other gate of the mall. I started walking towards it and K tried to accompany me, as good friends often do, even though he had to head towards the basement of the mall....

We rescued Shuri in 2019. An asocial pup, she came to us with a lot of anxiety. She refused to be picked up, hugged or cuddled with. She would often hide beneath the bed or dining table. At the time, I was also going through clinical depression. Because Shuri is a pug, she frequently falls ill as pugs tend to be susceptible to health problems due to the unethical nature of their breeding process....