There is a lot of noise in my brain right now. Honestly, my brain is soup at this point. So I will write this in the form of a numbered list:
- I am doing too many things at once. Again. I do not want to admit it but I am falling into the old habit of doing so much that I effectively just do nothing.
- My brain keeps jumping from interest to interest. Call it ADHD, call it BPD. The undeniable truth is that I do not stick to anything.
- I run away when things get hard. I do not have the discipline of sticking it out through the worst. It makes me anxious. Panic attack level anxious. At the centre of it is the deep fear that I will find out that I suck. I do not understand why I am so existentially terrified of being mediocre. But it is a driving fear that prevents me from doing anything that I mildly enjoy well. I’d rather say to myself - i didn’t even try that try and fail and find out that I sucked at it.
- Another existential fear, another side of point 3 and one that drives point 2 is that it is too late for me. People my age have already started their PhDs. People who bullied me, who rejected me. I will come to this later, but the fear that I am too late is pushing me to do everything at once. And that is making my anxiety worse.
- People who wronged me doing well is like fuel for my anxiety because it validates the notion in my brain that I was the problem. I deserved to be wronged. I am a loser. I do not have the bandwidth to unpack this with nuance right now, but that is the gist.
- I never developed the discipline of hard work. I have never worked hard in my life. If I have, it was only by coincidence because what I was doing happened to be fun. I do not want to be this person.
- Anxiety is here to stay. I got my routine in place last year because I was successfully avoiding all that brings me anxiety. Now that I have to do the things that make me anxious, my routine is falling apart. I am back to dysfunctionality, insomnia, inability to do basic things like self care.
- That brings the additional anxiety of whether I am making up my mental health in the first place. When mental health breakdowns are rare, I can distance myself from thinking about it. When they are frequent, I constantly have to grapple with the fact that the world was meant to be exclusionary. I have to constantly justify my need to rest. My disability. I have to justify that I deserve to exist, in whichever imperfect shape or form. That my value to society doesn’t diminish by my dysfunctionality.
- I have to learn to be okay with slowness – the slowness of learning discipline. The slowness of learning itself. Doing things one at a time.
That is all I have to say for now. The next couple of months will be difficult but I have no choice but to go through them. I am glad that I am wiser this time around.
I do not have to do it all at once. It is okay if I fail. My dysfunctionality/disability doesn’t make me a burden. It is okay if I am slow. It is okay if I take my time. It is okay. It is okay. It is okay.